Spiritual Disciplines: Grieving and Celebrating (Matthew 8:1 - 4)

Helpful Websites for Grieving (website)

John Donne, Death Be Not Proud (~1610)

Henry Francis Lyte, Abide with Me (1847) written by this Scottish Anglican minister when he was dying of tuberculosis. See also Victor MacLure, The Story of Abide with Me. Brixham my Brixham, Sep 2, 2018.

Francis Thompson (1859 - 1907), The Hound of Heaven a magnificent poem about God pursuing us, one of the most influential Catholic poems for over half a century, by a former medical student and recovered opium addict

Henry Scott Holland, Death is Nothing At All (May 1910) a poem in his sermon Death the King of Terrors

J.R.R. Tolkien, Noel (1936) discovered and published by Wayne Hammond and Christina Scull in 2013.

Dylan Thomas, Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night (1947) a poem for his father’s death

C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed (Amazon book, 1961). Lewis wrote this after his beloved wife Helen Joy died of bone cancer. He counterbalances some of his statements in C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain (Amazon book, 1940) which is a good preliminary book for anyone wrestling with this topic, although he ascribes a bit too much to divine causation as opposed to divine redemption, which he corrects in A Grief Observed.

Maya Angelou, When Great Trees Fall (1968) I am not sure that this was the date Angelou composed the poem, but she was deeply affected by MLK’s death by assassination. She stopped celebrating her own birthday, subsequently.

Gerard Manley Hopkins, God's Grandeur (1985) 

Gerard Manley Hopkins, Carrion Comfort (1985)

Dr. Diane M. Komp, A Window to Heaven: When Children See Life in Death. Zondervan | Amazon page, 1992. Dr. Komp describes how her work with children with cancer, and with their parents, has strengthened her faith in Jesus.

Nicholas Wolterstorff, Lament for a Son. Eerdmans | Amazon page, May 1997. A Christian philosopher writes from first hand experience

Kenneth C. Haugk, Journeying Through Grief. Stephen Ministries, Jan 2004. A four book series: A Time to Grieve (3 weeks after the loss); Experiencing Grief (3 months); Finding Hope and Healing (6 months); Rebuilding and Remembering (11 months)

Barbara A. Holmes, Joy Unspeakable: Contemplative Practices of the Black Church. Augsburg Fortress | Amazon page, Jul 1, 2004. Holmes has beautiful and helpful insights into emotions, processing, time, and community.

Jerry L. Sittser, A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows through Loss. Zondervan | Amazon page, Dec 2004.

Michael Card, A Sacred Sorrow: Reaching Out to God in the Lost Language of Lament. Nav Press | Amazon page, Jan 2005. This book was in the top two books for beginners by Dr. Carmen Joy Imes on the topic of lament.

William Paul Young, The Shack: Where Tragedy Confronts Eternity. Windblown Media | Amazon page, 2007. A beautiful, fictional story of a man who meets God in the shack where his daughter was kidnapped and murdered.

Robert W. Kellemen and Karole A. Edwards, Beyond the Suffering: Embracing the Legacy of African American Soul Care and Spiritual Direction. Baker Books | Amazon page, Aug 1, 2007.

Diana Hayes, Forged in the Fiery Furnace: African American Spirituality. Orbis Books | Amazon page, Mar 19, 2012.

Soong-Chan Rah, Prophetic Lament: A Call for Justice in Troubled Times. IVPress | Amazon, Sep 2015.

Emmanuel Katongole, Born from Lament: The Theology and Politics of Hope in Africa. Eerdmans | Amazon page, Apr 2017. Father Emmanuel Katongole argues that a church that has lost its capacity for lament has lost its capacity for social justice.

“There is no more urgent theological task than to provide an account of hope in Africa, given its endless cycles of violence, war, poverty, and displacement. So claims Emmanuel Katongole, an innovative theological voice from Africa. In the midst of suffering, Katongole says, hope takes the form of "arguing" and "wrestling" with God. Such lament is not merely a cry of pain—it is a way of mourning, protesting, and appealing to God. As he unpacks the rich theological and social dimensions of the practice of lament in Africa, Katongole tells the stories of courageous Christian activists working for change in East Africa and invites readers to enter into lament along with them.”

Albert Y. Hsu, Grieving a Suicide: A Loved One's Search for Comfort, Answers, and Hope. InterVarsity Press | Amazon page, Jul 2017. Revised and expanded, from first hand experience

Anderson Cooper, Full Interview of Stephen Colbert. Mostly Water, CNN, Aug 14, 2019. From 20 min mark, explores grief, loss, gratitude, and God’s love.

MaryKate Morse, The Art of Grieving: A Spiritual Practice for Our Time. Missio Alliance, Jan 24, 2020.

Rebekah Eklund, Practicing Lament. Cascade Books | Amazon page, Feb 2021. This book was in the top two books for beginners by Dr. Carmen Joy Imes on the topic of lament.

Stephen Colbert, "I Hope This Grief Stays With Me" - Andrew Garfield Fights Back Tears And Celebrates His Mom. The Late Show, Nov 23, 2021. At the 4 minute mark, Colbert discusses the untimely death of Jonathan Larson and also Andrew Garfield’s mother. He replies, “Grief is all the unexpressed love that I didn’t get to tell her.” Much like Vision, in WandaVision, saying, “What is grief, but love, persevering?”

Sarah Byrne-Martelli, Memory Eternal: Living with Grief as Orthodox Christians. Ancient Faith Publishing, 2022.

“Losing someone we love is never easy, but the Orthodox Church provides a wealth of resources that help us to bear it. Chaplain and bereavement counselor Sarah Byrne-Martelli draws on these theological, scriptural, and liturgical resources, as well as the collected experience of a variety of people undergoing grief and loss, to provide a kind of roadmap to the grieving process. Included in the book is a guide to an eight-week bereavement curriculum that can be used in a group or on one’s own. As Orthodox Christians, we do not seek to "get over" grief but to carry the memory of our loved ones eternally in our hearts. Sarah Byrne-Martelli is an Orthodox board-certified chaplain and bereavement counselor who has served in acute care, palliative care, and hospice since 2002. In her role as a chaplain, she cares for patients and families who are facing serious illness, grief, and loss. Sarah holds a DMin from St. Vladimir's Orthodox Theological Seminary and an MDiv from Harvard Divinity School. She is on the Board of the Orthodox Christian Association of Medicine, Psychology, and Religion (OCAMPR). Sarah attends St. Mary Orthodox Church in Cambridge, MA, with her husband, Dr. Peter Martelli, and their son, Rafael.”

Paul Abernathy, The Prayer of a Broken Heart: An Orthodox Christian Reflection on African American Spirituality. Ancient Faith Publishing, Feb 2022.

“What do African American spirituality and Orthodox Christianity have in common? More than you might think. Drawing on both his own background as a biracial convert to Orthodoxy and historical resources that span St. Athanasius to Frederick Douglass, Fr. Paul Abernathy details the many intersections between these two traditions, including a redemptive understanding of the Cross and a faith shaped by suffering and persecution. In so doing, he points to a new path whereby Orthodox Christianity can uniquely answer the spiritual needs of African Americans. Fr. Paul Abernathy is an African American Orthodox Christian priest and founding pastor of St. Moses the Black Orthodox Church in the Hill District, a predominantly Black neighborhood of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. He is the founder and CEO of the Neighborhood Resilience Project, an Orthodox Christian nonprofit focusing on building resilient, healing, and healthy communities through Trauma Informed Community Development. He is a nationally renowned speaker whose work has been featured on NBC, ABC, CBS, BBC, Ard (German) TV, and NPR. Fr. Paul is a U.S. Army Iraq War veteran and holds master’s degrees from the University of Pittsburgh and St. Tikhon’s Orthodox Theological Seminary. He and his beloved wife Kristina have two beautiful children.”

Trevor Laurence, Cursing with God: The Imprecatory Psalms and the Ethics of Christian Prayer. Baylor University Press | Amazon page, Aug 2023. Argues that the imprecatory Psalms are calling for God to bring a judgment. Argues that Christians should pray these Psalms, and that doing so is compatible with loving our neighbor.

Richard Waring, Poet as Patient. New England Journal of Medicine, Dec 28, 2023.

Yoram Yovell, Why Broken Hearts Hurt — and What Heals Them. TED, Jun 11, 2024. Pain is the cost of being able to love — a neuroscientific perspective.

Michelle S. Keener, Comfort in the Ashes: Explorations in the Book of Job to Support Trauma Survivors. IVP Academic | Amazon, Jan 2025. Discussion of trauma, PTSD, survivors of traumatic experiences.

Carmen Joy Imes, Top 6 Books on Christian Lament. Carmen Joy Imes, Aug 12, 2025.

Anderson Cooper, Sara Bareilles Debuts ‘Home,’ a New Song About Grief Inspired by Anderson Cooper and Stephen Colbert. CNN, Mar 19, 2026. A lovely podcast interview, 40 minutes long. Sara Bareilles’ deep, personal appreciation for Stephen’s and Anderson’s feelings of loss, and careful and loving way of putting stories into songs, reminds us of the Holy Spirit’s groaning with us, putting our groanings into groans and perhaps words (Romans 8:18 - 25).

Evan Owens, 3 Things Christians Should Stop Saying to Struggling Veterans. Reboot Combat Recovery, date unknown. 

Melissa Kelley, Grief: Contemporary Theory and the Practice of Ministry. Fortress Press | Amazon page, 2010.

Timothy Patitsas, The Opposite of War Is Not Peace: Healing Trauma in the Iliad and in Orthodox Tradition. Road to Emmaus, Winter 2013. Helpfully integrated trauma studies (especially through moral injury sustained by soldiers), the limitations of modern secular psychotherapy, and a proposal that we need Christian liturgical community as the relational integration and communion.  Patitsas cites Jonathan Shay's work on soldiers' trauma, highlights the Greek Homeric classics The Iliad and The Odyssey as originating from trauma recovery, and critiques the Western tradition of just war theory in comparison with the Eastern Byzantine tradition for being pastorally insufficient to deal with war trauma.  This article is a must read.  See this appreciative blog post by Curate Mike, Healing of Soul and Body. Curacy blog, Sep 2017.  Patitsas did a followup article:  Timothy Patitsas, A Feeling for Beauty: The Aesthetic Ground of Orthodox Ethics. Road to Emmaus, Spring 2014. There, Patitsas treats "moral luck" and its tension with "moral agency."

Anderson Cooper, Full Interview of Stephen Colbert. CNN, Aug 14, 2019. From 20 min mark, explores grief, loss, gratitude, and God’s love.

Sarah Byrne-Martelli, Memory Eternal: Living with Grief as Orthodox Christians. Ancient Faith Publishing, 2022.

“Losing someone we love is never easy, but the Orthodox Church provides a wealth of resources that help us to bear it. Chaplain and bereavement counselor Sarah Byrne-Martelli draws on these theological, scriptural, and liturgical resources, as well as the collected experience of a variety of people undergoing grief and loss, to provide a kind of roadmap to the grieving process. Included in the book is a guide to an eight-week bereavement curriculum that can be used in a group or on one’s own. As Orthodox Christians, we do not seek to "get over" grief but to carry the memory of our loved ones eternally in our hearts. Sarah Byrne-Martelli is an Orthodox board-certified chaplain and bereavement counselor who has served in acute care, palliative care, and hospice since 2002. In her role as a chaplain, she cares for patients and families who are facing serious illness, grief, and loss. Sarah holds a DMin from St. Vladimir's Orthodox Theological Seminary and an MDiv from Harvard Divinity School. She is on the Board of the Orthodox Christian Association of Medicine, Psychology, and Religion (OCAMPR). Sarah attends St. Mary Orthodox Church in Cambridge, MA, with her husband, Dr. Peter Martelli, and their son, Rafael.”

Paul Abernathy, The Prayer of a Broken Heart: An Orthodox Christian Reflection on African American Spirituality. Ancient Faith Publishing, Feb 2022.

“What do African American spirituality and Orthodox Christianity have in common? More than you might think. Drawing on both his own background as a biracial convert to Orthodoxy and historical resources that span St. Athanasius to Frederick Douglass, Fr. Paul Abernathy details the many intersections between these two traditions, including a redemptive understanding of the Cross and a faith shaped by suffering and persecution. In so doing, he points to a new path whereby Orthodox Christianity can uniquely answer the spiritual needs of African Americans. Fr. Paul Abernathy is an African American Orthodox Christian priest and founding pastor of St. Moses the Black Orthodox Church in the Hill District, a predominantly Black neighborhood of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. He is the founder and CEO of the Neighborhood Resilience Project, an Orthodox Christian nonprofit focusing on building resilient, healing, and healthy communities through Trauma Informed Community Development. He is a nationally renowned speaker whose work has been featured on NBC, ABC, CBS, BBC, Ard (German) TV, and NPR. Fr. Paul is a U.S. Army Iraq War veteran and holds master’s degrees from the University of Pittsburgh and St. Tikhon’s Orthodox Theological Seminary. He and his beloved wife Kristina have two beautiful children.”

Philip Bailey, Safe in God's Love (1984)

David J. Evans, Be Still for the Presence of the Lord (1986)

Stephen Curtis Chapman, My Redeemer is Faithful and True (1989)

Bill Bastone and Andy Crouch, Shelter (To Every Generation) (1992)

Stephen Curtis Chapman, When You Are a Soldier (1992)

Larry Hampton, Hail to the King (1995)

Fred Hammond and Radical for Christ, When You Praise (2000)

Fred Hammond and Radical for Christ, A Song of Strength (2000)

Secret Garden, You Raise Me Up (2001) and later versions by Josh Groban, You Raise Me Up (2009) and Celtic Woman, You Raise Me Up (2009)

Donald Lawrence, Usher Me (2002)

Donald Lawrence, Can I Lay in Your Arms (2002)

Martha Munizzi, Because of Who You Are (2002) and version by Vicki Yohe, Because of Who You Are (2003)

Matt Redman, Blessed Be Your Name (2003)

Christy Nockels, Knees to the Earth (2003)

Hillsong United, Still (2004)

Marty Stuart, Colbert Croft and Joyce Croft, I Can't Even Walk (2005)

Hillsong, At the Cross (2006)

Donald Lawrence, I Am God (2006)

Donnie McClurkin, Great is Your Mercy (2006)

Hillsong, Came to My Rescue (2008)

Vance Perry, Sweet Hour of Prayer (2008) barbershop version

Sannon Wexelberg and Matthew Ward, You Are My Refuge (2008)

Cece Winans's version of Great Is Thy Faithfulness (2008)

Lauryn Hill and Cece Winans's version of His Eye is on the Sparrow

Hillsong United, Healer (2009)

Ruben Studdard's version of I Surrender All (2009)

Christy Nockels, Grace Flows Down (2010)

Cece Winans, Alone in Your Presence (2010)

Cece Winans's version of His Strength is Perfect (2010)

Israel Houghton's version of Because He Lives, Amazing Grace/My Chains Are Broken

Israel Houghton, Your Presence is Heaven to Me (2011)

Israel Houghton, Jesus at the Center of It All (2011)

Gungor, You Make Beautiful Things (2011)

Tamela Mann, Take Me to the King (2012)

Hillsong, Beneath the Waters (I Will Rise) (2012)

Hilllsong United, Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) (2013)

Matt Redman, I Need You Now (2013)

Sam Robson's acapella version of I Need Thee O I Need Thee (2013)

Sam Robson's acapella version of Love That Will Not Let Me Go (2013)

Marvin Sapp, Live (2015)

Hillary Scott and the Scott Family, Thy Will (2016)

People and Songs, Psalm 23 (I Am Not Alone) (2019)

Jamie MacDonald and Common Hymnal, He Has Time (2019)

Dee Brown and Common Hymnal, Rose Petals (2019) which remembers the black and brown people killed by police